dark recesses of time

The utter stark darkness, oppressively black and unfiltered, unmassed and withdrawn, pulling back hard with a grossness of gravity, long forgotten remains of what it contains and it's purpose or raison d'etre. This is how i think of dark forgotten corners of the universe, multiverse, fabric of time and space, like the dark foreboding corner rooms covered in layers of cobwebs and dust over eons of time, of an old and forgotten dis-used haunted house.  So to the dark corner recesses of haunted memories from past, hidden from view of the mind's eye, protecting you from what lies there... too far away and distant to contemplate searching and pulling out from the dark corners to inspect and pore over.  Better to stay there in the darkness far away, unknowing, long forgotten, gathering more darkness and dust moving further away from the light. A tiny glimmer, ray of light perhaps shining out of some sunnier spectrum casts itself upon something and it triggers a hint, a clue of what can be remembered if you choose to pull off the cobwebs, dust off the grime, search into the dark, darkly darkness of it.

change of plans

We were travelling in August at the same time the Olympic games were on in Sydney.  My wife, son who was nearly 7 and I caught up with friends in Tunisia, in Tunis and we all decided to go on a 5 day bus tour through parts of Tunisia.  At the end of the trip we were going to go to Jerba and catch up with my friend who couldn't come on the bus tour with us.  The language barrier was a little tricky as they speak Arabic and French as their main languages, German and Italian being the other languages they know, with English being right down on the list.

We had the bus greet us at the designated spot and met our Tunisian driver and the other 2 tourists taking the bus with us, a young Norwegian couple. We set off on the long drive and stopped off at our first city after Sousse,  El Jem, that had an amazing Roman Colosseum that was relatively intact. Our tour guide was a local Tunisian guy who could speak French and English.  The majority of the people on the tour were French, so he would talk in French first and then in English for a few of us, including the Norwegians.

The next stop was Sfax which is a seaside town further South.

It was a memorable road trip through the countryside of Tunisia, apart from the coastal parts of this country the inland areas are fairly barren especially on the salt plains which we drove through, for a full day's driving. Just looking out at the horizon that stretches on forever, looking for mirages.  I remember seeing palm trees and an oasis that wasn't really there at all, very weird.

After hours of driving  the bus stopped at an undergound place that was one of the scenes from the Star Wars film and we had lunch there.  There were a few side excursions on the tour and sometimes my wife and her friend wouldn't go as they didn't seem to be getting on with the Tunisian tour guide man, who they thought were favouring the French over us English speaking folk.  One afternoon tour was another Star Wars location that was in part of the Sahara desert and we all decided not to go on this trip, including the Norwegian friends we made.  We stayed in the hotel instead and drank cocktails by the pool and swam and took it easy in the sweltering Sahara heat.  Of course when the French tourists came back they raved about the tour, and I remember feeling regret that I didn't go, they all said it was an amazing sunset.

I think that night after dinner I decided to watch some of the Olympics on the TV in the hotel with some of the French people on the tour, I went by myself and the girls did something by themselves.  I think Thorpe was swimming a final in the 200M or 400M freestyle and the French were asking me about Thorpe and Australia and I was asking them a bit about where they were from.  They found it quite incredible that we had chosen to go on holiday while the Olympics were on in our home city, which i guess you can understand, I felt a little regret that we had done this, but still had a great holiday.

It was around this time that my wife's friend got a call from her Tunisian boyfriend to say he could meet up with us somewhere now as he could get away from his family duties now.  After much discussion it was decided that we would cut the trip short and try and get a driver to drive us to Jerba, a small island, kind of like the Gold Coast of Tunisia, with casino's and big hotels.  After a while we managed to score a driver who would take us half way across the Tunisian countryside for around $100 Australian which was a pretty good deal really.  I wasn't that happy to cut short our tour as there was 2 or 3 days left on it and I thought it was a little extravagant to give those days up as we had paid a lot for the tour.  It was pointless to argue against 2 women, i was on a hiding to nothing.  They continued to argue with the tour guide who was peeved we were leaving the tour and I think this pissed the women off further and it ended with a heated conversation between our Tunisian friend and him in Tunisian, where he told him off basically.  It wasn't a graceful way to end our tour experience, but it was memorable.  I think they were more glad than I was we were leaving the tour, I couldn't understand why they just didn't try to get along with everyone.

We had another long day of driving, back past the salt plains, through the Sahara and to the coast and to the ferry that would take us over to Jerba.  We spoke to a nice Libyan couple on the ferry who spoke really good English and were also going on a holiday to Jerba.  Meanwhile both our sons made friends with the captain of the car ferry and were even wearing his Captain's hat at one stage and he didn't seem to mind being harassed by 7 year old rascals.  It was a wonderful thing about Tunisia how great they are with kids and they have all the time in the world for them and they seem to really know how to appreciate family and have the most fun together.

After a little while driving around, found a hotel eventually the one that our Tunisian friend said to try first we didn't really like and we ended up going for something a little more upmarket.  I think we had a day by ourselves before our Tunisian friend turned up. The change of plans turned out okay in the end as we had a few more memorable days in Jerba, riding camels and horses on the beach, visiting markets, lounging by the pool surrounded by bodacious beautiful bronzed Italian bodies, like something out of a Sabrina (Girls, Girls, Girls) video clip.

Baby climber

When i was a baby, I don't remember much, if anything, like most in this regard. I vaguely remember my first house at Castlecrag that we lived in, but that was as a toddler.  I have been told by my mother and family that i was good crawler and climber and that before I could walk I would even climb up and out the window, perhaps i was trying to escape from my older brother and sisters, or i was just a natural explorer from an early age. One day I even made it up the road to the butcher's around the corner. I must have looked an odd site as i crawled up the road and then down the main road on the footpath.  The butcher called my mum, who would have come and picked me up and felt quite embarrassed I would imagine, letting her baby crawl around the suburbs.  I wonder what propelled me to do that, I just wanted to look around my neighbourhood, check everything out, see what else there was out there.  I did not want to be confined to a mere house and backyard.
I have memories of our first dog, first firecracker night, or one that i remember fondly.  Sleeping at night with a rocket tucked up under my pillow ready for the big bonfire night, where i could let it off.
When i was a bit older i progressed to climbing trees and rocks and loved to climb up to the top of anything i could find. The parents would worry that I would fall, but i never did and felt confident climbing up any type of tree to it's extremities, in the smallest of branches and nooks.  It was my thing, that i was known for, my sister would sometimes climb as well and we would both be up trees in our yards, or out the back of our place in the bush. It was a great past-time, climbing trees, elevating oneself beyond the mundane boundaries of the ground dwellers below.

Dream

I don't often dream, or maybe I do but don't often remember them.  I always put this down to being a heavy,deep sleeper, oblivious to everything.  The dreams and nightmares you have as a child are remembered.  I think everyone had the dream as a child of falling from far above the clouds, for what seems like an age, falling but not worried about the consequences, for a time at least.  Then the building tension as you keep falling, feeling in control but this feeling slowly changing as you realize that at some point you will hit earth.  In your dream state you try and correct this, as you don't want your dream interrupted by smacking into land.  Then in your dream state, the rising panic as you know you are surely going to hit earth.  A part of you knows it is a dream and you are safe, but another part is not so sure.  You startle awake as it all gets too much and you realize you were dreaming.  It's like you were checking that you were just dreaming and are relieved that it was the case.

Other dreams linger with you, as you are not sure of their meaning, or their meaning changes over time.  I have one such dream.

I had this dream in my early twenties.  I was driving in a car on the way to work, past well known landmarks.  I had another passenger, a female, slightly older on my left hand side. We were extremely comfortable in each other's company, like we were soulmates, I was the happiest most contented human being alive and we were on this journey together.  We were joking and laughing as we weaved in and out of traffic on my way to work in busy peak hour traffic.  On the way, around Neutral bay junction somewhere I stopped on the side of the road, so we could swap sides and let her drive for a while.  She was an attractive blond, familiar and known, but at the same time no one I knew.

I went around to the left hand side of the car to get in and as I got in on my side another woman changed spots with the driver I was getting on so well with and got in and started driving off.  I was looking back behind searching for the other woman and felt a little panicked and perplexed that this happened.  The journey changed and I wasn't as fun and carefree and at ease with this new woman. We drove onto North Sydney and for some reason I got out here and in a short time walking, found myself in an underground tunnel.  It was only lightly illuminated and it felt like there was going to be danger ahead.  I pulled out a glistening steel sword and held it aloft in a warrior pose.  I made my way  down the winding tunnel and was slaying everything in my wake, like this was somehow my destiny.

That was about it really.  At the the time I thought it was one of the most strange dreams I ever had.  Could this dream have been trying to tell me something, I wonder?

You're adopted!

I am the youngest from a fairly large family of 5, common in the time i was growing up, not so common now.  When i was little it was known that i was the second oldest sisters (protege, plaything, one to tease and help raise).  The oldest sister had the second youngest, my sister who was 3 years older.  I think the oldest sister got first choice, and because Marg was born first and would always be a little older and wiser, I think the second oldest sister always felt a little dudded by me and was probably sick of always coming second to the oldest sister.

 At times it was fun to be pitted against each other and we both seemed to bond to our respected older sisters.  I think the 2 oldest had fun keeping tabs on who was doing the better with their protege.  When it got a little more serious, the oldest sister would try to undermine the second oldest sister by saying things to me, like, "you're adopted".  Which i would reply in my kid like voice. "Na, I'm not", "you are!" or something like.  She would persevere and say other things like "you look nothing like the rest of us, you must be adopted".  And "you have freckles and none of us have" or "you burn and none of us burn, we all go brown".  My assigned sister would always stick up for me and I did bond more with her over the years and liked her rebellious streak and how she would always say what was on her mind.

I remember it being hurtful at the time and the scars i guess are still there, which is weird as it was all meant to be fun and games. It might not have been often that these things were even necessarily said, but it's funny how it doesn't take much when you are young, to believe what you hear and start to question yourself, even when faced with these blatant falsehoods.

Do the sisters still keep tabs on us, now that we have we all grown up and are now in middle age.  I am not sure, but I doubt it. Who won overall, again not sure, just glad that none of us were killed or maimed in the process. In one game of tie ups Margaret accidentally knocked her head and went unconscious and had to be rushed to hospital.  In another game gone wrong in the pool, either my brother or sister knocked their head on the side of the pool and were lying face down in the water for a while.  At first i think we all must have thought they were joking, but after a short period, I wasn't so sure and grabbed them out and realized straight away that they were limp.  Luckily enough they came too straight away and recovered with just a bruise on their head.

Intruder

Early on in our relationship, my current wife and I were staying at my parents place who had gone overseas for a while.  It was just us two staying in the house at the time and it must have been winter as we were both in our matching winter pyjamas before heading off to bed for the night. our P.J's has big fluffy white clouds on them.  I think it was still fairly early when we were in bed, all the lights in the house were turned off, and we were in the early process of sleeping when i heard a noise that sounded like it was coming from the veranda near where we were sleeping, it sounded like someone was trying to open the door. I freaked out and decided to call the police on the mobile straight away.  From the bed i grabbed the mobile phone and dialled 000.  I asked for police (In a whispering voice) as to not disturb the intruder.  I was put through to the local police station.  They asked "Mona Vale police, what seems to be problem".  I whispered softly "I think someone is trying to get in at the back of my house"  They said "Are they still there?" I responded "I am not sure".  They then said "We will send someone there straight away.  What is the address"  I supplied the address and said goodbye.

I got off the phone and told the wife that they were sending someone to the house to check.  By this stage we hadn't heard too many more noises and thought they might have left the vicinity.

The police showed up within 5 minutes, which really impressed me.  Someone was shining torches in the backyard, I could see through from the back veranda.  I thought it might be the intruder. My wife was saying to go and check who it was.  I was a little unsure of this and was edging out closer to have a look.  I was thinking "What if it's the intruder/robber?"  "What if they have a gun? Or are crazy?"

It was cold out, even in my winter PJ's and i think i was shaking a bit, either from the cold or my nerves (not sure).  I yelled out "who is there?"  To which the person in the night said "The police"  I said something like "Prove you are the police".   Just as i said this, other police started showing up down the side of the house.  One of the police said "I've got someone here, do you know this person?"  "They said they were coming home from being out and came down the wrong side of the fence."  They had a torch on the guy and they asked "Is this your neighbour".  I said "yeh, it's okay it's my neighbour."  He looked very non plussed about the whole situation and a little nervous.  The police let him go and then came up to back veranda part of the house.  It was at this stage that i realized that my wife and i must have looked a sight in our matching pyjamas.  There were 2 female cops and 2 male officers and they said they didn't really need to take a statement or anything.  We had a bit of chit chat and they then left the house. I was really impressed with the police on this occassion, the whole thing was handled extremely well and I thought at the time, I wonder if it's because of the postcode my parents live in, you wouldn't get this If I was ringing from a Redfern address.
When they left, we laughed about what just happened.  She said "you were great sarcastically"  "Quakes".  "You were standing there quaking".  I said "I was not!  I was just cold" but thinking yeh she was probably right.  "I didn't know if it was copper or the robber i said".  I had a right to be scared.

My wife said, " I wonder what they thought of us, both standing there in our trendy matching P.J's".  "Yeh Good point i said, I don't know.. maybe something like what a fashionable nice young couple".  Haha..

Belly dancer

Night in Tunisia is a favourite jazz track of mine from Bird (Charlie Parker) and conjurs memories of a night i remember in Jerba, Tunisia.  I was holidaying in Tunisia with my wife, son who was 6, wife's friend and her partner who is Tunisian and her son.

We had just arrived on the island of Jerba on a car ferry and finally decided on a hotel to stay in, a beautiful hotel on the beach with many pools and populated with many chic European (Italian, French and German) tourists.

I realized i had run out of condoms that afternoon and had to go to a local supermarket down the road from the hotel and ask for help in buying them.  It was a funny conversation with the person behind the counter.  At first when i asked "If they sold condoms", I just got a blank face.  I then asked for a prophelactic or French letter and i think one of those made the person twig as to what i was asking and they told me what the word they used for it is.  He went behind the room and was saying to one of his friends, condom, condom, that's what they call it and they were both laughing about our English word for it.  He then proceeded to a locked cabinet containing only 2 brands of condoms to choose from. I was thinking it very funny and odd that they considered condoms a high price item that needed to be locked away.

Later this day we all decided to go out to dinner in the restaurant as they were going to have a belly dancing show and we all thought we needed a bit of culture.  An attractive Tunisian women came out and was belly dancing around the tables and trying to get some of the tables involved a bit and moved to our table and managed to entice get me to get up and have a bit of a wiggle with me.  Shen then managed to get my shirt off and blindfold and lead me up to the front of the restaurant.  I was now wondering what was going to happen next and felt the touch of lips on my lips and without thought didn't pull back, not knowing for sure who it was I was kissing, just that it felt good.  There were many laughs and gaffaws around the restaurant.  The belly dancer then took off the blindfold and my wife was up the front with me, in front of me and smiling at me, at which point i felt a little let down.  No, not really only joking, I kind of suspected that this was what was happening.   I then headed back to our table with my wife and our friends at the table couldn't believe that i kissed back and thought it said something about my faithfulness, something along those lines.  We all had the biggest laughs about it. Hell, either way i thought, it was a win/win for me.. I had my condoms, i was ready to go.